


Let's Talk About Sex

by KTRose



Series: All The Right Moves [3]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Takin' Over the Asylum
Genre: Alcohol, Eventual Smut, F/M, Heavy Petting, Sexual Content, Sexual Frustration, Teninch Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 07:26:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5082994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KTRose/pseuds/KTRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Campbell is still 100% certain that he and Rose are going to have sex, he's just not so sure about when it's going to happen. But now he has a plan!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Talk About Sex

**Author's Note:**

> Lunaseemoony is continuing to beta and provide moral guidance ... thank you dearest.
> 
> A/N the first: I've taken a fanfic author liberty and moved the air date of a television show from 2004 to the 90s. Hopefully you'll forgive me when you read which one it is and why.
> 
> A/N the second: please note the rating change to Mature ... any recommendations for additional tags will be taken onboard
> 
> A/N the third: this story contains mentions of alcohol, naked chests and oral sex

Initially Campbell was going to invite Rose down to the station to impress her with his DJ-ing skills. However, that only lasted until Eddie discovered him practicing his moves in his room, and suggested that it might not be professional to invite ones girlfriend to work so you could flirt with her. The new plan, well the new plan was inspired, especially once he remembered that he had an entire radio station at his disposal for four hours a week!

"All right Campbell, what's this latest grand plan to get into Rose's knickers" Eddie said with a heavy sigh. In reality Eddie was really quite enjoying the ongoing saga of Campbell's attempts to have sex with Rose. He and Francine thought it was possibly even better then EastEanders or Coronation St, and he couldn't wait to tell her about this new development.

"Eddie, Eddie, Eddie this plan is foolproof and I cannae believe I've not thought of it before!" Campbell shoved a piece of paper under Eddie's nose, "I'm going to dedicate an entire show to Rose and send a message to her through song, how brilliant is that?"

Eddie couldn't help but smile at Campbell's mile wide grin, although it slipped a bit when he started reading through the list of songs. A Little Less Conversation and Kiss Me weren't too bad but it got a bit worrying when he saw Joan Jett's Do You Wanna Touch Me! "Are ye sure this is the list of songs you want to go with Campbell?"

"Yes Eddie!" Campbell drawled out as if Eddie was a bit slow on the up take, "I've carefully constructed this list of songs to make sure the message is clear and direct. I nae want Rose having any misunderstandings about it!"

"Aye, well I Wanna Sex You Up followed by All Night Long is a pretty direct message for anyone" Eddie said with a roll of his eyes. "Have ye thought about what Rose might think of all of Glasgow being in on this message of sex" he tried to reason.

Campbell's face visibly paled, and he let out a loud and frustrated "bollocks!" as he crashed face down into the couch.

"I take it that's a no then. Well were there any other songs that didnae make it on to the list?" Eddie suggested sympathetically.

"Aye, I'll Make Love To You and Like A Virgin" came Campbell's muffled reply.

"Well yes they're both good songs, although maybe not in that particular order. Maybe we can tone it down a bit, how about Afternoon Delight?" He recommended with a chuckle. But that soon stopped when Campbell turned a blank look at him, "an afternoon delight, it's a ... oh never mind!"

Campbell started thumping his head into the cushion, "what am I going to do Eddie? I'm a grown man! I should've definitely had sex by now!"

Eddie slumped into the chair next to him shaking his head, "I'm not sure I'm the person ye need to be talking to about this." Especially since he hadn't gotten much further along with Francine, he thought with a sigh.

 

O.o ~ o.O ~ O.o ~ o.O ~ O.o ~ o.O ~ O.o ~ o.O

 

Campbell was delirious when snogging with Rose progressed to hands wandering under each other's shirts! His trousers got uncomfortable every time he even thought about the fact that he was now allowed to caress Rose's breasts through her brassiere. For the last week he had been seriously considering borrowing Rosalie's dress making mannequin, although he wasn't sure she'd agree if she knew it was so he could practice undoing bra hooks. In the end he decided not to ask because he didn't know where he'd get a bra to practice with anyway.

Although he was pleased with how his relationship with Rose was developing, Campbell was getting a bit desperate having now used all his moves, and didn't want to rely on Rose teaching him what to do next. This is how he came to be settling on the couch to watch a show about the most consummate lover in all of history. He'd waited until Eddie had gone out with Francine for the day, because he'd heard it was a bit raunchy and thought it was best to watch it alone. Taking a deep breath he pressed play and watched the opening sequence of _Casanova_ unfold.

When Eddie got home again, he found Campbell sitting perched on the edge of the couch watching a scene on the telly over and over again. He collapsed into a crumpled heap on his chair, when he finally saw the image that was freeze framed on the screen after Campbell had hit the pause button. There was a man on his knees with his head tucked under the skirt of a nun, and his hand was tucked under the skirt of another nun!

"Ehm ... w-w-what are ye doing Campbell", he stammered.

" _Casanova_ " Campbell stated as if that clarified everything, "I've been watching this for two hours now Eddie trying to work out what he's doing, can ye explain it to me?"

"Well ... ehm ... it ... ehm ... well it" Eddie cleared his throat trying to dislodge the words stuck there, "it, it, it looks like he's pleasuring that ... erm ... lady ... ehm orally, and ehm"

"Duh really Eddie" Campbell interrupted with a dramatic roll of his eyes. "I know that much! I want to know what he's actually doing, can ye explain how to me Eddie?"

"Ye, ye, ye, ye want me ta ex-explain how ta do oral sex!" He squeaked at an uncomfortably high pitch.

"Yes Eddie, this is very serious research!" Campbell slouched back on the couch and crossed his arms with a huff, "how else am I supposed to learn how to do it?"

Eddie sent up a prayer that Francine would understand, but there was no way he was having this conversation without alcohol. He staggered over to the drinks cabinet and pulled down his emergency bottle of whisky and two glasses, he figured Campbell would probably need one too by the end of this.

Taking a sip of what was likely to be the first of several drinks, Eddie settled back in his chair to begin, "well it's been awhile but it's no likely something ye'll ever forget, so ehm, let's assume ye've already gotten to the naked stage. Do ye, ehm, are ye, are ye aware that women have hair down there like men do?"

Campbell nodded his head as he sat forward eagerly to listen.

"Right, well, ehm, OK, so so some women like to, ehm, shape that hair. And before ye ask why Campbell, I don't know they just do. I just wanted you to be prepared in case Ro," he couldn't do it, he couldn't say Rose's name in this conversation. Clearing his throat he continued, "just in case, OK? Right, OK, so, ehm, ye'll be lying between the woman's legs, and then you separate the, ehm, lips I guess you call 'em."

"What does it look like," Campbell interrupted.

"Don't ask me to describe a woman's anatomy, go look it up in a book at the library! Blimey, this is difficult enough to describe without giving you a bloody biology lesson as well" spluttered Eddie.

With placating hand gestures Campbell encouraged Eddie to go on, "right, sorry, sorry, please continue Eddie."

Huffing and taking another fortifying sip of whisky, Eddie went on "OK, so you ehm lick with the tip of your tongue. What is that look for Campbell, it's called oral sex for a reason!"

Campbell had scrunched up his face at the mention of licking because it didn't sound like a place that he would be wanting to put his tongue. Blimey who invented this thing, and what on earth made them decide to do it in the first place! "Doesn't it taste like wee?" he queried.

That made Eddie choke slightly on his whisky, "ehm, well each woman is different but it kind of tastes salty and sweet at the same time. Let's, let's just keep going. OK so in addition to licking, which is not as bad as it sounds, ye, ehm, ye insert fingers inside of her and move them in and out."

"Why?" Was Campbell's next query.

"What do ye mean why! Because women like it, and well ye'll understand when you get to do it," Eddie said completely flustered. "Anyways, while ye doing that, ye need to feel for a spot inside that feels kind of bumpy and rough compared to everything else. Ye definitely want to be hitting that with your fingertips, and before ye ask why, just trust me that it is something that Ro-Rose would want you to do." On that note, Eddie sculled another shot of whisky.

Campbell had questions flying around his head wanting more details, but he could see from the look of Eddie that their conversation had come to an end. He decided he would be visiting the library first thing in the morning, and hoped that the helpful male librarian would be there to point him in the right direction.

 

O.o ~ o.O ~ O.o ~ o.O ~ O.o ~ o.O ~ O.o ~ o.O

 

Rose and Campbell had made it into her bedroom and he was marvelling at the softness of her skin as he removed her shirt. With a giggle Rose took off her bra and Campbell finally got to gaze upon the lusciousness of her naked breasts. Campbell was fairly certain that there had never been a finer set of breasts in all of history. He tentatively placed a line of kisses down her neck and across her chest, until he bravely ventured a kiss on one of her nipples. Rose let out the most glorious sound he'd ever heard, and decided to place a kiss on her other nipple to see if she would do it again. He wasn't disappointed!

Suddenly he found his head being pulled back, Campbell was going to complain until he realised that Rose wanted to take his shirt off. Rushing to help her discard the unwanted item his arms got tangled in the sleeves for a moment. Laughing Rose pushed him on to the bed, and then crawled up the length of it to lie down next to him. He couldn't believe this was happening, he was finally going to have sex with Rose!

Pulling Rose toward him to kiss her lips again, he was astounded by how very different it felt holding her when both their chests were naked. It felt like all of his nerve endings were exploding at the same time, and he had to move back and take a few deep breaths, thankfully it looked like Rose was needing to do the same thing. Determined not to waste a moment of this opportunity, Campbell leaned back in to place a kiss on Rose's shoulder, he wanted to map her entire body with kisses.

"C-C-Campbell" Rose stuttered.

"Mpff" he'd reached the soft curve underneath her right bosom, it had become his favourite spot and didn't want to leave it to answer properly.

Giving him a sharp push back, Rose made sure Campbell was looking into her eyes before asking, "do you have any condoms?" A smile beamed across his face as he reached for his lucky condom, and pulled it out of his back pocket.

He was confused at first when he saw Rose's smile fall as she looked at the condom. Turning his hand so he could see the other side of the packet, he saw that there was a definite tear in it and the latex inside was clearly damaged.

"Oh! Do you have any more" she asked hopefully.

"Noooooooooo" Campbell wailed as he smashed face first in to the pillow beside Rose.

Patting him on the shoulder, Rose reassuringly said, "it's OK Campbell, we can do it next time."

"OK? OK! Rose there is nothing OK about this," he grumped as he turned toward her again, "this is nae how I planned for this evening to end."

Leaning forward to capture his pouty bottom lip, "well the evening doesn't have to end just yet" she breathed onto his cheek.

"It doesn't?" He squeaked, "do, do, do you have any condoms?"

Rose shook her head no, "but I can think of one or two things we can do without one." She then ran her nails down his chest, past his navel, towards the button on his jeans. Campbell audibly gulped when Rose gently ran a nail along the very visible bulge straining to be released, "if you're interested that is", she whispered.

 

O.o ~ o.O ~ O.o ~ o.O ~ O.o ~ o.O ~ O.o ~ o.O

 

To Be Continued ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Fair warning the next story is going to be rated Explicit, but hopefully I've left this story at a point where you can happily leave our cute couple if that's not you cup of tea.
> 
> PS: not even the teensiest bit sorry :D


End file.
